Monday, December 21, 2009

Deep thoughts for the day

My little boy is turning one tomorrow......sniff sniff. I made a cake this morning which brought to my attention two things.

1.) I am no pastry chef
2.) I will think twice about incorporating piped brown polka dots onto an animal themed cake in the future....

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A little of this, a little of that.

I'm eating a cookie, and I highly suspect that shortly after I am done with this one I will eat another, and another, and...etc. I'm eating a cookie because Monday night some guy with a gun broke into a house down the street. If you were in my head then you would see that the only plausible* solution for me is to stay up late gorging on cookies until I pass out in a pile of chocolate chunks, and sweet floury crumbs.
I know that if I lived near family, or close friends they would happily put up with my neurosis, for a few nights until I felt ok with being at home again....but I don't. So instead I sit here, and I eat, and I think, and it all comes down to two things, why can't we all just get along, and why if nobody here can get along (oh why oh why oh why) can't I just please move somewhere else...somewhere with a lower crime rate...but enough of that. It's one of the sacrifices I make as a Military wife, and although it's not ideal, I have health insurance, and a roof over my head, and food on my table. So on to random facts about me, because in the event that you do not know me, you should (I'm awesome), and also it will get my mind off the robber lurking at my door.

Try imagining "Getting to know you" playing in the background as you read this, could help and it can't hurt anything.

Random fact of the day, I love Tina Fey. Not in a scary stalker type way (yet) but in the sort of way that I like to think of her as a good friend. Besides, it sounds a lot less pathetic when you spend Thursday night in front of the television with a bag of chocolate chips if you call it girls night.

ok so I totally spelled that right on the FIRST TRY. Yay for me!!!

...So....about that blog thing...

Seeing as it has been two months I guess it's time for another blog...I mentioned I'm no good at this right? I figure since I devoted my first blog to reasons I shouldn't blog I should give you an idea why I am starting this.
1.)All my friends are doing it, I figure this can't end as badly as the time I decided to try going blond.
2.)I get lonely sometimes, and as much as I try to convince myself otherwise, bringing a latte to my therapy sessions does not give me liberty to call it a coffee date.
3.) I need a place for my webic* (see above (click on it for bigness))). My webics are only slightly less frequent then my blogging, however I feel I should have a place to put them.

*Webic, a phrase I coined since I am now an internet sensation. It's short for web comic, but I like it better because when you say it, it kind of sounds like you are saying "epic". Hopefully this will catch on faster than "Chandlerizing" another word I came up with, more on that later.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

My First Blog

I can think of a thousand reasons* why I should not start a blog. If I was a good blogger I would take this space to tell you the overall idea/goal of this blog.........but I don't have either of those things (reason number one).

2.) I am no good at spelling, if it were not for the saving grace of those wavy red lines everything I type would be pure gibberish.

3.) My spelling skillz (as ridiculously bad as they are) are nowhere near as bad as my grammar. I throw commas in where I see fit, sometimes a few extra, if, I'm not quite sure where they should go. I am addicted to parenthesis, sometimes I use parenthesis inside of parenthesis, I find them quite amusing.

4.) I would like to maintain some anonymity with this blog, and I am not sure if that is even possible in blog land. With my unique brand of humor I am not sure how long my mild mannered alter ego would be kept a secret.............surely there are other SAHMs forced to relocate to the south who know the value of a well timed "your Mom" joke?

5.) I can't imagine doing this for more than six months without getting sued, I am not so up to date on libel laws, and I tend to go on rants.

6.) I can't imagine doing this for more than six months and actually having anything to talk about, it all comes back to cookies, Tina Fey, and potty training (When you become a Mom you increase your knowledge of poop 100 fold (see there are those parenthesis I was talking about)).

So there you have it.............and yet, with a mere click of a button, I become a blogger. Etching forever into the vastness of cyberspace my two..........albeit sometimes nonsensical and rather unimportant cents.

* Reason 8....I exaggerate........a lot...I can think of nowhere near a thousand reasons not to start a blog, I couldn't even think of ten.
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